Last time, i get worried for my result. When i got my result and it turns out good then i thought that i wouldn't get worried any more but somehow i was wrong. Im really worried that i can't get in shatec. Mum, sis,bro, keep saying, "Just go in shatec, you will get in one. don't worry" But when i asked mr tang, he will say "go ite first and then shatec."

This is why i got confused. Should i listen to my family or my teacher. I can't make up my mind. I do want to go shatec but im not that confident that i can make it but i got the feeling that i can make it. okie im talking rubbish. I don't want to go ite and i bet you guys know the reason why.

Hidayah keep telling me not to worry but the more she tell me that, the more i got worried. I don't want to get worried and regret about my choices. I know if i get in shatec, i will be really really happy but in ite i will just be happy. All my wishes is in shatec and i need more people to support me. I always get worried for nothing.

Sometimes, im just embarassed to tell people that i want to take shatec because different people have different thinking but sometimes, im proud to say "I WANT TO GO SHATEC" because that is what im hoping for. I need people to pray for me and support me and bring up my confidents into 100%. I thought by telling mr tang that i will be joining shatec he will be "that is a good choice!" but i was wrong.

He even give some faces thats make my hard sank and asked me to join ite but mum says it is a waste of time if i join ite and then shatec. Ain say it is good to join shatec but the cert. is not well known or it is not well recognise by other places if i find a job because it is a privated school.

If i didn't get in shatec i will hate myself for being stupid ! because - when i was young, i used to hate ite people becuase last time ite people were those types of people who can't be bothered about studies and when i saw my brother in ite, i change my mind. So my mind already set that although im in N (T) i still get in a school after sec4 and i thought my feelings about hating ite is gone but it is still there. Honestly, i do hate ite but if you have no choice then you got to go right. But i can't say that i really hate ite just because the students were bad. There is still some good students who is willing to study and go on to poly or even U. Still my friends all are going ite next year.

i need to trust myself on my own decision but im scared that im over confident. What if i didn't get in shatec and all my hopes gone and i have to wait for 1more year to apply in ite and it is a waste of time. Gosh ! this is hard !

allah, please help me ! i feel like crying !

p/s im really curious to know how well my future is.