days have past and im so not in a mood to come to school. I was scolding everyone and im so sorry for that. School now a days have a lot of laughters since some thing happen on wednesday night. I was actually in tears that night while reading mutiara's post and when meng wee told me what happen. It just remind me of my late aunt. While reading it, straight away her face just appers in my mind and the time i kisses her at the forehead and tears were starting to roll down my cheeks. ya, she is just my aunt but she is still one my family member where, when im small she used to bring me and my siblings to night safari and escape theme park with her 2 daughters. She used to buy me super rings and laugh at my homeworks. When im small she used to change my diapers at night when i was asleep. She used to hold on the TV control and changed it without anyone knowing it and everyone were, WHO IN THE HELL JUST CHANGE THE CHANNEL ! and we laugh. WOW ! time really past so fast and it have been over 100 days past her death. I still feel like shes still here, looking at us and i still can't accpect shes gone although it have been so long. I keep telling mum that i felt like shes in a very long long holidays and i don't even feel that shes gone. mum just gave me a smile and kept on reminding me when i had my prayers, she asked me to sedekah Al-fateha to her. May be this is not a big big deal but it is for me. I felt that im such a bad bad friend to mutiara. I reliase that now a days im closer to her. I make this owl sounds and she makes it too and ended up we make that sounds together. I told her what i want and she told me what shes want but im such a bad friend to her because i didn't meet her up but the class did. I want to talk to her, I want to cheer her up, i want to be by her side but im scared something bad could slip out from my mouth that could make her think that im making fun of her or not understanding her situations. Im lousy at cheering people up and im lousy making new friends. Im one timid girl who scares to be laugh at. fyi i really really want to perform and learn how to play the guitar! i just hate to see death but one day, my turn is next. -nursyahirah |